Monday, April 06, 2009

Useful idiots

Over the weekend, we here in Pittsburgh watched a tragedy unfold as three Pittsburgh police officers, responding to a domestic violence call, were gunned down by a lunatic with an AK-47.

Predictably, our local branches of the mainstream media immediately seized on the fact that the gunman was an anarchistic nutcase who frequented neo-Nazi websites to conclude that this sort of thing is bound to happen in a society that permits Republicans to wander the streets.

Now, reasonable minds can differ on whether private citizens should be able to own assault rifles. In truth, this incident powerfully aids the case that they should not. But the media gatekeepers, perhaps taking a cue from our president, have decided that a crime is nothing if not an opportunity.

And so we get coverage like today's lead editorial in the consistently liberal Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. Read it in full, and take note of where the logic goes off the tracks:
A contagious rage has seemingly possessed America in recent days. The common denominators -- guns in the hands of angry and irrational people -- have been the same whether the scene is a nursing home or a community English class for immigrants.

And, on Saturday morning, in a city that prides itself on its decency, friendliness and common sense, the madness came home. The deadly ambush of three Pittsburgh police officers in Stanton Heights was more than a tragedy for immediate families and colleagues.

These brave men died for us. Nobody doubts that this was an assault on the community, and the community has reacted with the proper mix of anger and deep sorrow. In a city that hasn't seen a police fatality for almost 14 years, three officers were suddenly lost in a single incident for the first time in its history. It was horrible and senseless almost beyond belief.

The person accused of the crimes, Richard Andrew Poplawski, appears to be another archetype loser who was all about rights but not responsibilities and whose mind had been poisoned by drinking deep of irrational anti-government conspiracies and gospels of hate.

On Fairfield Street, no rights of gun ownership or free speech were vindicated. The police were just doing their thankless duty, answering a domestic disturbance call, for which they were caught in a coward's ambush and murdered. It was their rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that were lost.

But there will be time enough to consider how lunatic it is that an AK-47 assault rifle can find its way into the hands of a seething fool, to weigh the culpability of politicians who resist sensible limits on guns and to take to task the radio talk show hosts who foment evil by banging drums of hatred.

Today we mourn Pittsburgh's fallen heroes -- Officers Paul Sciullo III, Stephen J. Mayhle and Eric Kelly. God bless them and their colleagues (two of whom were also injured). God bless these United States, where we have come to this.
Did you spot it? For those not well conditioned to detecting red herrings, here it is: ". . . . the radio talk show hosts who foment evil by banging drums of hatred . . . ."

Ah, yes. The talk show hosts. Those evil conservative muckrakers, who have had the temerity to criticize President Hopen Change. If only they didn't have the freedom to spout their divisive criticisms of His Holiness, we would never have nutcases committing acts of violence.

You see: Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Mark Levin, et al., are essentially complicit in this crime. If they had never taken to the airwaves and disagreed with The Great and Merciful Leader, the local nutjob never would have committed a violent act.

Of course, if what's good for the goose were good for the gander, the guy would be able to mount a credible Rush-Listener Defense, much akin the Black-Rage Defense commended by my risible former law professor, Regina Austin. But I digress.

So. Here's is your take-away lesson, oh children of the Mighty Progressive Ozymandias: If a man commits a violent crime with a gun, the actual guilty parties are: (1) Guns, and (2) Anyone Who Expresses Disagreement With Barack Obama, Praised Be His Name.

Quod Erat Demonstradum.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

In Barack Obama's America...

The president of the United States gets to tell bank CEOs when they can and can't pay back loans from the federal government;

the President of the United States gets to decide which companies are important enough for him to remove CEOs and install his own people to "fix" said company, even if his own people know nothing about that company or industry;

a "community organizing" group under investigation for fraud all over the country (fraud which, somehow, always seems to benefit the President's political party) gets to help conduct the census, and the census will be managed by a sampling expert, though the Supreme Court has already ruled that "sampling" for purposes of taking the census is unconstitutional;

the "newspaper of record" voluntarily kills well-sourced stories about the connection between a certain presidential candidate and that same fraud-mongering "community organizing" group, while making ill-founded gossip about the other candidate front page news; and

the Attorney General can ignore an opinion issued by the (partisan and politically like-minded) Office of Legal Counsel regarding the constitutionality of a bill, if that opinion doesn't jive with the AG's (or the president's) political objectives;

...and nobody in the mainstream media bats an eye.

It must be so nice to be a Democrat!

Also Resistant to the Hopenchange: Kim Jong-Il

Don't worry, though. Despite the fact that North Korea launched a ballistic missile that could conceivably harm our allies in Asia (if not our own citizens in Hawaii), we're in safe hands. After Kim Jong-Il blatantly defied the most recent U.N. resolution, President Teleprompter immediately warned the North Koreans that he was going to....go to the U.N. and get ANOTHER resolution!!!

Good thing we're going to keep that missile defense system well funded and ready to go. Oh, wait....

Europe Surprisingly Resistant to Our Dear Leader's Hopenchange

Despite President Obama's best efforts to show the European elite just how little he thinks of the country that just elected him president (the same country of which his wife was never proud until it showed her husband some electoral love), Europe's response to the Messiah's request for more troops in Afghanistan (the good war, remember?) was a resounding "Screw you, buddy!"

Which, if memory serves, was the same response that President Bush got. So much for the idea that the election of Barack Obama would make the world love us again. In fact, it seems to this observer that Europe doesn't give a rat's ass about helping the U.S. fight a war no matter who is in charge! And if that's true, then I figure we might as well skip the part where the President of the United States shits all over his own country and go back to kicking al Qaeda ass all on our own.

Let the Europeans sneer at America and call us a bunch of cowboys. We all know whom they'll go to begging for help when their Islamic chickens come home to roost.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

Subservience To Unions For Thee, But Not For Me

The New York Times leads the mainstream media in promoting the commercially destructive political agenda of Big Labor. Turns out, though, when it comes to The Times's own business interests, the principle of profit-death isn't quite so sacred:
The New York Times Co has threatened to shut The Boston Globe unless the newspaper's unions agree to $20 million in concessions, The Boston Globe reported, quoting union leaders.

The union officials said executives from the Times and the Globe made the demands on Thursday morning in a meeting with leaders of the newspaper's 13 unions, the Globe reported.

"Management told union leaders Thursday that the Globe will lose $85 million in 2009, unless serious cutbacks are made, according to a Globe employee briefed on the discussions," the Globe report said. That compares with an estimated $50 million loss last year, the newspaper quoted the employee as saying.

Do as we say, not as we do.

Changey Diplomacy: French Edition

Having dazzled the Brits by lavishing the prime minister and the queen with unplayable DVDs and an iPod, respectively, the President-Who-Will-Restore-America's-World-Image has moved on to France. There, at a press conference, he deftly demonstrated his respect for another of the world's oldest democracies by taking questions only from American reporters and ignoring the French.

President Obama held a much ballyhooed town hall in Strasbourg, France, on Friday, touted by the White House as an outreach to Europeans on the second leg of the president's "listening" tour.

But the first person he called on was an American -- and the third, too. By the end of the hourlong session, not a single French citizen got to ask the U.S. president a question.

Brilliant! Diplomacy by pettiness and the art of the snub. Good thing we're rid of that tone-deaf rube from Texas.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Dinner With Dan

Dan Collins has been a regular contributor at Protein Wisdom (easily our most linked-to site) for quite awhile now, and -- among other things -- he's also the teacher who orchestrated the online Shakespeare metapoetics course I attempted to promote here.

I find myself in Vermont this week (i.e., Dan's neck of the woods) on work-related matters, and so I emailed Dan to see if I could meet this legendary blogger-instructor in person. To my delight, Dan agreed, and we had dinner this evening. It was really kind of him to go out of his way (the man has a family, dammit) to spend some time with an admiring reader, and he couldn't have been more gracious.

The steaks were great, the beer was delicious, and the transsexual escorts were . . . well, perhaps a bit aggressive given our presence in a dining room filled with families toting young children, but a truly thoughtful gesture nonetheless.

In all seriousness (I was kidding about the beer), I truly enjoyed the opportunity to sow a real-world friendship (or, if that's too presumptuous, a friendly connection) with another member of an almost-completely virtual, online community of souls who happen to share similar values and who tend to communicate about them exclusively via written words and pixels.

All of which is a long-winded way of saying that stalking has rewards. Your mileage may vary.

Q: How Do You Know Joe Biden Is Saying Something Stupid?

A: His lips are moving.

Which leads me to my next question. When Joe Biden recently thanked Spanish Prime Minister Zapatero for all of his and Spain's help in Iraq, was he aware that Zapatero was the guy who, upon his election, pulled Spain's troops out of Iraq faster than you can say el cowardissimo, thereby assisting the U.S. Democrats -- Joey Hairplugs included -- in their bid to lose that war on President Bush's watch? Or is Biden just as pig-ignorant and unprepared to be a vice-president as the mainstream media told us Sarah Palin would be?

Meanwhile, Secretary of State Clinton left another pile of diplomatic dog droppings in our backyard. Free advice for Madame Secretary: when you visit another country's holy site, one famous for displaying an item considered to be a miracle, do do some research on the item before you talk to the locals, and don't ask stupid questions that might insult your audience.

I mean, it's not like Mexico's going to start a war with us over Hillary's ignorance of the miraculous cloak's history, but since these are the kind of amateur-hour goofs that Democrats always pestered George Bush about, I think it's fair to expect better of the head of the Smarter Diplomacy department (and former "co-president") Mrs. Clinton.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Life With a Two Year Old, Chapter One: The Wake-Up Call

The Piglet otherwise known as my darling two-year old daughter graduated from her crib some months back and recently has discovered the joys of getting out of bed at a time of her choosing -- and making sure everyone else in the house does too.

Just a few days ago, she popped out of her room 10 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. Having spent most of the night pleading with my infant son to go to sleep, I was none too happy to be roused from whatever rest I had left -- so I did what any normal parent would have done: I feigned sleep and totally ignored her pleas for me to get up.

Alas, two year olds can be persistent. And inventive. After tapping me on my head, pulling off all my covers, and advising me that she was in need of chocolate milk, Lucky Charms, and a new diaper, all failed to get the job done, she grew very quiet. Too quiet. I opened my eyes just a wee little bit and saw a dingy sock-clad foot approaching my face, coming to rest not two centimeters from my nose. Then did my Piglet lean over and whisper, ever so sweetly, in my ear:

"Mommy! Mommy, smell my feet."

I got up.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Headline of the Day

CNN Journalist, Others Arrested on Fargo Dikes

Hey! That's D-I-K-E-S. Get you mind outta the gutter.

Can We Adopt Him?

British member of the European Parliament Daniel Hannan has become an internet sensation, thanks to the YouTube-ification of his remarks to British Prime Minister Gordon Blair.

Too bad he's ineligible to run for POTUS.



Zing.

Obama: "Defeat Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. Support Al Qaeda in the U.S."

The big headlines today report that President Obama is getting tough on terrorists -- or is that "man-caused disasterists"? The Obama administration's new language confuses me so -- by authorizing an additional 4000* troops to Afghanistan and increased aid to stabilize Pakistan. In an unexpected (but very welcome) twist, the president even used language suggesting he actually wants to win this war, not just end it: "coalition forces," he said, "must disrupt, dismantle, and defeat" Al Qaeda (emphasis mine).

(* EDIT: In addition to 17,000 other previously promised troops.)

That's the good news for those of you keeping up with the Global War on Terror -- er, I mean the "Overseas Contingency Operation" (goshdarnit, there's that new Obama language again!).

The bad news comes via OUTLAW Jeff Goldstein at protein wisdom:
During his news conference, [National Intelligence Director Dennis] Blair also said the Obama administration is still wrestling with what to do with the remaining 240 detainees at the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base, which the president has ordered closed.

Some of the detainees, deemed non-threatening, may be released into the United States as free men, Blair confirmed.

That would happen when they can’t be returned to their home countries, because the governments either won’t take them or the U.S. fears they will be abused or tortured. That is the case with 17 Uighurs (WEE’-gurz), Chinese Muslim separatists who were cleared for release from the jail long ago. The U.S. can’t find a country willing to take them, and it will not turn them over to China.

Blair said the former prisoners would have [to] get some sort of assistance to start their new lives in the United States.

“We can’t put them out on the street,” he said.

That assistance (cruder people might call it "welfare") will be provided by Mr. and Mrs. John Q. American Taxpayer. Meanwhile, the released enemy combatants -- or whatever the f$#% we are calling them these days -- will be laughing all the way to the nearest anonymous money-wiring facility.

And can't you already hear the Obama folks trying to justify their reasons for setting these bastards free in the U.S., after one of them takes out a mall, or a birthday party, or a busy Starbucks? "But but but -- he said he was never part of that Al Qaeda training camp! He was just travelling through the area and had stopped in to use their bathroom when our soldiers captured him! He claimed to have no affinity for global jihadism! Holy underwear, people, we've been had!"

This cannot end well.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Statism So Statist That Even Statist European Statesmen State: "Too Statist!"

Big Government pols in Europe have weighed in once again on the Democrats' $2 Trillion Big Government "stimulus" boondoggle. Simply put, it's "the road to Hell."

EU Head Mirek Topolanek suggested his American friends stop and take a look at history before sinking government talons into every facet of the economy and punishing market activity.

Topolanek, who is also prime minister of a former Soviet Bloc state, ought to have some perspective on the matter.

$orry, $orry, $orry

I hope an Obama administration spokesperson can rationally explain how cutting the wealthiest one-percent of tax-payers' ability to write-off donations to charitable organizations by eleven percent (read: hundreds of millions of dollars) won't result in thousands of non-profit, research, and private foundation job losses.

"Obama rejected this claim, saying there 'was very little evidence' to suggest there would be a significant drop in donations as a result of the tax increase."

Sorry, genome.
Sorry, AIDS.
Sorry, diabetes.
Sorry, homeless.
Sorry, drug addicts.
Sorry, cancer.
Sorry, Africa.
Sorry, cystic fibrosis.
Sorry, Boys Club.
Sorry, Katrina victims.
Sorry, sickle cell.
Sorry, Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Sorry, Habitat For Humanity.
Sorry, Bill & Melinda Gates.
Sorry, environment.
Sorry, Alzheimer's.
Sorry, Warren Buffett.
Sorry, Jerry's Kids.
Sorry, 9/11 Victims.
Sorry, Iraq & Afghanistan Veterans.
Sorry, ASPCA.
Sorry, first responders.

Don't think of it as unemployment. Think of it as.... Patriotism?


The Teleprompter Speaks!

If you haven't yet checked out Barack Obama's Teleprompter's Blog, please do so. In these trying times, we all need a good laugh. And the 'Prompter provides.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Most Smartest Diplomacy Evahhhh! (UPDATED)

So, now we're pissing off the French government too? Or, at minimum, French President Nicholas Sarkozy, a far better friend and supporter of the U.S. than his predecessors, cozying up instead to Jacques Chirac, the leftist former French president?)

It's either willful incitement of poor relations, or blatant stupidity. I can't think of a third option.

UPDATED: I thought of a third option. Wait for it ....


wait for it...


wait for it...




SPECIAL OLYMPICS DIPLOMACY!!!

Ba-dum-bum.

See you all in hell.

Via Gateway Pundit, via Ace.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Speaking of Which . . .

How about an Iowa Hawk flashback?



Seems to me the president's recent teleprompter . . . er, difficulties . . . may have a logical explanation.

Mwahahahaha.

Saturday Thought Experiments

What. If. Bush. Had. Done. These. Things?

Seriously. Close your eyes. Imagine that in the span of just a few weeks, George W. Bush had cracked a joke about the physically handicapped, bumped his head while boarding Marine One, thanked himself for his own hospitality because that's what the teleprompter said, ordered defense officials to conceal the budget process from public scrutiny, grandstanded about bonus payments by AIG only to have it revealed that he had, himself, accepted six figures from AIG, tried to walk through a window, and gifted the British Prime Minister with DVDs that are incompatible with UK DVD players.

I think it's beyond dispute that Maureen Dowd would be hosting an orgy in the New York Times editorial office.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

And Other Days I Want To Walk Down Bedford Avenue With A Kalashnikov

The fashion forward are abuzz with exciting news of the latest trend soon-to-be-rocked among Williamsburg, Brooklyn's Hipster Illuminati:



Slanties.

The "nihilistically optimistic" eyewear you never asked for but can, thankfully, propagate:
"slanties are based on ancient Inuit eyewear design. Handcrafted out of solid wood and backed with fiberglass for strength. slanties are available in four different varieties of wood and three different sizes, including a child’s size."
I'm assuming, for trademarking purposes, that gooks, slopes, injuns, and chinkamos were all taken. Yours for $75.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

I'm Weary

There's no room in this post for sarcasm or quips.

In the wake of opting to spend billions on pork-barrel trifles, President Obama has decided to save the government a comparatively miniscule sum of money by (of all things) requiring wounded American soldiers to pay for their own medical care.

There is room in this post for shock, anger, and scorn. But I don't even know how to muster any of them at an appropriate level of volume.

I'm just sad. Not only that a president would do such a thing, but that his Democrat supporters -- who shrieked like stabbed infants every time President Bush exhaled -- can't be moved to so much as raise an eyebrow.

You know who you are. Your silence is deafening. Way to be patriots.

For shame.